HLP Holiday Poem

Written by: @BigDaddyDaycare


T’was the night before Christmas, with all at full health. Not a PC was stirring because they all passed their stealth.


The holy text was placed, by Motumbe with care. In hopes that Pharasma soon would be there.

The children were nestled, all snug in their beds. While Nana Opal prepared cookie recipes in her head. And Saw in his collar and Anya in her chains had just settled down for a long night of pain.


When out on the roof, it sounded like a wreck. So Griffin asked the party for a perception check. Out of her tub, Leira flew like a flash. Garbed in her finest new manta ray sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, Turned the eyes of Ikmur to a bright yellow. When what to their wondering eyes should appear, but a tiny Wayang and eight haunt reindeer.


With a raven by her side and armed with an axe. She hefted behind her, a handy haversack. More rapid than flash spiders, her coursers they came, and she whistles and shouted and called them by name


“Now Eric! Now Crusty chrus!

Now John, and Tim!

On Piper! On Splatter!

And Father Charlatan!

To the Top of the porch!

To the top of the wall! Now charge away!

Charge away! Charge away all!"


But her sack had some stowaways, if only she knew. Out popped the heads of a cleric and vivisectionist too. With one on the search for the promise of converts, the other was ready with her scalpel to insert.


Then in a twinkling, the party heard on the roof. The prancing and pawing of each little hoof. Detective Ikmur, who was quickly on the case, as Eclipse slid down the chimney, with amazing haste.


She was dressed all in fur armor, from head to her foot. And with a natty 20 she knew something was afoot. She turned to see the party, a mix of evil and good. In silent astonishment they all watched and they stood.


Turner’s eyes- how the twinkled “An audience how merry.” Brighter than the time Seymour Weiner, popped his cherry. Viv slid out of the bag, lithe as a panther. Her mind solely focused, on finding the answers.


Opal offered some cookies, not revealing their contents, but Eclipse was more concerned with unloading her presents.


A bow tie for Saw, a new shield for Motumbe. For Leira a small fish, prepared via crochet. Nana Opal received a new rolling pan, because crushing children bones is best done by hand.


And for Ikmur, the closest to still being a boy. She ruined his innocence, with half-orc playboy.

Eclipse turned to her stowaways, a sly grin on her face. Because she always brought extra gifts, just to be safe.


To properly examine the powerful cortex, she presented the Doctor with a new set of forceps. Then the Wayang Santa looked to Mr. Turner, but became quite surprised. As he held up his hands and slowly closed his eyes. “I hope you don’t find me rude, as your gift I must deny.” “Because the only present I need, is right by my side.”


Eclipse nodding her head, saw the good doctor blush. And the holiday Wayang went up the chimney in a rush. She sprang to her steeds, to her team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.


Inspired by the couple, Saw gave Anya a lick, through her gag one would think she almost was sick. As Ikmur thumbed through the pages, He soon became astonished. As he ran up the stairs, for his long sword needed a polish.


Nana Opal retired to her favorite rocking chair. And muttering some words it slowly rose in the air. Leira peacefully hummed to herself a happy tune, she was content to know that the sun would rise soon.


A house full of good and evil, chaos possibly on the brink. But we won’t find out until next time so finish your drinks.


*I KNEW IT*

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